今年もすっかり落ち葉の季節になった。公園の近くや庭木の多い住宅街を歩いていると、足もとにはいろんな木々の落ち葉が散っている。サクラ、カエデ、ケヤキ、エノキ、プラタナス。わかるだけでもたくさんの種類が混じりあっている。見上げると、見ているそばから、梢を離れて、ひらひらひらと舞いながら落ちてくるのがある。昔はあれをつかもうとしていつも失敗したな。最近はもう諦めて、落ちてくる軌跡を目で追い、地面に着地するのを確かめるだけだ。落ちてきた木の葉はすでに落ちていた葉の上に軽く乗って、秋の午後のまぶしい斜光線を透かして輝く。
かさこそかさこそ。降り積もった落ち葉は足もとで音を立てる。かさこそかさこそ。その音を聞くと、いつもあの人はどうしているかなと思う。
その人は仕事先の男性で、私は時折彼の事務所へ行って打ち合わせをしていたのだが、ある年の秋の晩、帰るのが遅くなった私を、煙草を買いがてら、そこまで送っていくよと言って、大きな道路まで送ってきてくれた。門を出て曲がると長い塀づたいに歩道がある。歩道にはサクラがぽつんぽつんと植わっていて、暗い夜道を並んで歩きながら、その人はポケットに手を突っ込み背中を丸めて、塀沿いに散り積もった落ち葉をわざと蹴散らすようにして、がさがさがさがさ音を立てて歩いた。こんなふうに落ちても、アスファルトの上じゃあどうにもならないもんな、ごみになるだけで、とかなんとかひとりごとを言いながら。私はちらと彼の顔を見たが返事をせずに黙って歩いた。塀の端まで行って、もう一回曲がると大きな道路に出る。道路を渡って私をタクシーに乗せると、彼はじゃあまたねと笑顔を見せて、煙草を買いに歩いていってしまった。
私はタクシーの中で、あの人は子ども時代自然のなかで育ったから、あんなふうに思うのだろうとか、こんな都会にだけ沈殿していないで、低い山でも郊外の公園でもいいから行ったら、昔どおりに土の上に落ち葉が積もっていて安心するだろうとか、そしてきっとそこも蹴散らして歩くだろうとか、いろいろなことを思った。
私は秋に街で落ち葉に遭遇するのは好きだし、まだ都会にも木々が残っていると思って安らぐし、季節の移り変わりを美しく知らせてくれる存在として愛してもいる。しかし私のような見方ではなく（無論そうした気持ちももっているだろうが）、彼はその先にある、都会の木が置かれている現状や、木々と人々が共存できていない状況を憂えているのだった。彼は自然になじんできただけに、そう思うのかもしれない。
もちろんあんなせりふは本人もなんの気なしに言ったことで、言った本人はそんなことを言ったことすら覚えていないだろう。私もその後、落ち葉蹴散らしにどこか行きませんかと誘ったわけでもない。しかし、ときとしてそういう言葉は高い梢から舞い降りてくる葉のように落ちてきて、私のなかに降り積もる。ふとしたときのそういう瞬間に、人は本来の姿をみせる。だから私はそのことが忘れられないのだろう。
That time of the year when the leaves fall is now firmly upon us. Walking through my neighborhood with lots of garden trees or the nearby park, I step on all of the leaves scattered all over the ground. Cherry blossom leaves, maple tree leaves, zelkova tree leaves, Chinese hackberry leaves, platanus tree leaves: there are as many types as I know mixed together. I look up, then move away from the tree top. A leaf comes fluttering down. I always tried to grab them as a child but was never successful. I've given that up as an adult, but I do follow them with my eyes as they fall to see where they settle on the ground. The fallen leaf settles on top of another already fallen leaf, the glaring autumn afternoon oblique rays hit them and they shine.
Crunch crunch. The pile of fallen leaves makes a sound under my feet. Crunch crunch. I always wonder what he's doing whenever I hear the sound.
He is a man whose office I occasionally went to for meetings. One autumn evening, I was late in returning home. He offered to see me off on his way to buy cigarettes, and took me to a large street. Turning out of the gates, there was a long sidewalk along the wall. There were cherry blossom trees here and there along the path we walked on. He shoved his hands into his pockets, bent his back and walked along the wall, kicking the leaves and making a rustling sound. He was saying this and that to himself all the way: that since they fall there's no helping them being on the asphalt and that they are nothing more than garbage. I looked at him from the corner of my eye but walked along quietly. We came to the end of the wall and turned once more out into a large street. We crossed the street and he called me a taxi, smiled goodbye at me and went off to buy cigarettes.
I wondered about many things in the taxi: could he be thinking that way because he was raised in nature as a child? Would he be relaxed if they weren't settling on the ground in the city, if he went to a small mountain or garden in the outskirts of the city where the leaves would fall on the ground like they would have long ago? And would he be kicking them around there, too?
I love coming upon fallen leaves in the city during autumn, I'm relieved knowing that there are still trees in the cities, and I love them as something to beautifully inform us of the change of the seasons. However, he wasn't of my opinion (of course, he could have the same feelings), and was deploring the state of trees in the city and trees and people's inability to coexist before him. He may think so all the more so because he is familiar with nature.
Of course he spoke these words idly and probably doesn't remember even having said them. Nor did I invite him to go kick leaves around afterwards. However, sometimes these words flutter down from the high tree tops like leaves and pile up in me. In those sudden moments, people show their original selves. That's probably why I can't forget it.
